


Christmas of Memory

by Hannah_Writes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Hospitalization, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-26 10:22:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3847342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannah_Writes/pseuds/Hannah_Writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil think this Christmas will be the best yet, that is until tragedy strikes, what will happen when you can't remember the person you love? PLEASE REVIEW! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We wish you a Merry Christmas

 

 _We wish you a Merry Christmas,_

_We wish you a Merry Christmas,_

_We wish you a Merry Christmas_

_and a Happy New Year...._

 

  The sweet and joyous music drifted in through the window as the blaze of the fire lit up the hearth, sending warmth into the room, I smiled and went into the kitchen preparing two hot chocolates, _Phil would love this,_ I thought to myself as I finished up, I started humming along to the music and made my way to Phil's room, mugs in hand. I opened his door with great difficulty, 

 "Phil? You awake?" I asked and looked over his sleeping form, the innocence could be seen in his face and how young he looked when he wasn't worrying about the day, I quietly set the mug on his bedside table and gently brushed his bangs out of his face, he slowly opened his eyes and looked up, 

 "Morning, love." I said and placed a kiss on his forehead, 

 "What a lovely sight to wake up to." Phil said with a smile and grabbed his glasses, sitting up as he put them on, 

 "I made you some hot chocolate." I said and handed him the bright red santa mug, 

 "Oh Dan, thank you!" Phil said and practically squealed with delight, 

 "You are way too cute, you know that?" I said and stood up, "Come on, I made a fire in the lounge, way more comfortable out there." Phil laughed and with his cocoa in hand, followed me out,  

 "We still need to buy Christmas Presents! It's in a couple of weeks..." Phil said taking a sip of his Hot Chocolate, 

 "I'm aware, Phil, that's why we're going out today." I said with a laugh and walked into the lounge, I never get tired of how well we decorated for Christmas in here, the tree with it's gleaming lights stood in the corner, the decorative looking garlin sat on the mantelpiece delicately designed with gold and silver baubles, and a very colorful gingerbread house sat on the table waiting to be consumed. 

 "Can we have breakfast first?" Phil asked already pulling out the makings for pancakes, "Christmas tree hotcakes!" Phil said with the biggest smile on his face,

 "How could I say no to that?" I asked and pulled him into a hug from behind, laying my chin on his shoulder watching as he poured all the ingredients into one bowl,

 "Is there anything you need help with?" I asked, pulling away slowly,

 "Not with this, no, but you can put a movie in to watch while we eat these." Phil said pointing to the lounge with his spoon,

 "And I know the perfect movie!" I said rushing into the living room, pulling out _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ , "You ready Phil?" I asked and turned around, Phil had perfect tree shaped Pancakes on a very seasonal plate, 'Wow, these look great!' I said and sat down next to Phil, who handed me my own plate. Five pancakes later and only ten minutes left of the film, we got ready for the day, 

 "Phil, you ready?" I asked looking into my mirror finishing up my look with a scarf, 

 "Yeah, ready!" I heard him yell from the room next to mine, "So you ask me if I'm ready but you're not ready yourself?" Phil asks from the doorway, he was wearing his space christmas sweater and a simple red scarf, 

 "I'm ready, I'm ready. Let's go." I said with a laugh, I lock up the house and walk down the sidewalk holding Phil's hand, "The ground is really Icy, be careful." I said holding his hand tighter, 

  "I'll be fine, I'm more worried about you." Phil said with a laugh as we waited for the crosswalk button to turn, I let go of Phil's hand for maybe a minute to answer a text, I heard the little ding and walked out onto the street, I heard the screech of tires, than nothing.... 

* * *

 

  
_Dan let go of my hand but I had no idea how much that little gesture would change everything..._

  I heard the screech of tires and a scream that followed, I quickly turned around and my whole world stopped, Dan was lying on the ground, blood pooling out under his head, it felt like forever before I finally reached Dan, 

  "Dan!? Oh God, please be ok!" I yelled, taking him in my arms, tears falling down my face, "Someone call an ambulance, please!" I yelled as people started forming around me, I closed my eyes and laid my head down against Dan's chest, "Please, be ok, Dan..." I sobbed quietly to myself, finally about twenty minutes I heard the wail of sirens, but I didn't move,  until someone gently pried my arms off of Dan,

 "Sir, you need to step away." Someone said and I realized that the paramedics had finally arrived,

 "I can't leave him!" I said and fought against whoever was trying to keep me from him, "Dan!" 

 "We understand, sir, but we need room to work at the moment." The paramedic said with sympathy in her voice, "I'm sorry...." she said and went straight to work, I stood off to the side, my hand over my mouth as tears fell down,

  _Please, Dan. Please ok...._  

## 

 


	2. Silent Night

 

_Silent Night, holy Night_

_All is calm, all is bright_

_Round yon virgin mother and child_

_Holy infant so tender and mild_

_Sleep in heavenly peace_

_Sleep in heavenly peace_

 

  The slow yet hauntingly beautiful song drifted into the waiting room, but I wasn't paying attention, all I could see was Dan lying on the ground, his pale face so calm and peaceful, the deep red color spilling out from under him, the sound of the car screeching to a halt but not before finding it's mark. 

  "Friends or family of Dan?" Someone asked, I almost missed what they had said, until they said it a second time and I was up and running over as fast as I could, 

  "Is Dan alright?" I asked, worry crossed my face, 

  "It was touch and go for a while, he had a serious concussion and several broken ribs, plus his right hip and right arm were shattered. He's doing just fine now, if you would like to go see him?" She asked with a small smile, I barely had time to register with what she said but I nodded and followed her down the hall, 

  "He's on a ventilator and won't be able to breath on his own for a while, one of his cracked ribs punctured his lung, but that can be helped." She said and held the door open for me, "I'll leave you two alone for now but I will be back, I have to perform some more tests."  

  "Thank you." Was the only thing I said before I walked in and looked over the small and fragile looking form that was Dan Howell. He had a white bandage wrapped around his head, a cast covering the length of his arm plus one covering his hip, but the thing that got me was the huge breathing tube, that's what made Dan look so small in that bed. I slowly made my way over to the bed and sat down, taking his hand, 

  "I'm so happy you're alright, Dan. What would I do without you?" I asked, trying to stay calm and collected but that didn't last long and I broke down, gripping Dan's hand I brought it up to my face and kissed it, 

  "When I saw you lying there, I didn't know what to do, it took all my effort to run over to you. This is all my fault, you were hurt because of me...." I said and wiped my eyes, "Christmas won't be the same without you...." I said and took out a little black box, flipping it open, the ring shined brightly under the lights. I stole a glance outside, it was still snowing and the world looked so cheerful, people going on with their lives, buying presents and sitting by a fire. I looked back down at Dan and saw something I only hoped for, his fingers slowly curling around mine, 

  "Dan?" I asked standing up, his eyes suddenly flew open and the machines responded with loud beeping as Dan fought against the tube in his throat, "Help, please someone!" I yelled running outside, several Doctors and nurses came running in, I stood off to the side, giving them all room to work, 

  "Dan, sweetheart, I need you to take a deep breath for me, do you think you can do that?" One nurse asked as she prepared to take the tube out, he slowly nodded and took in a small weak breath, the tube was out and quickly replaced with an oxygen mask, 

  "Is he alright?" I asked moving closer, the beeping had stopped and the room was now filled with a steady noise, 

  "He's doing just fine, he just woke up is all, it happens." She said with a smile and closed the door as they were left alone, 

  "Dan, I'm so glad you're awake! You had me wor-" I started but stopped when I saw the confusion on his face, 

  "Who are you? Where am I?" Dan asked frantically looking around, the fear in his eyes was genuine. 

 _No, please, not this!_   


	3. Holly Jolly Christmas

 

_Where are you Christmas_

_Why can't I find you, why have you gone away_

_Where is the laughter you used to bring me_

_Why can't I hear the music play..._

 

  The slow and steady song drifted in through the door, like it wanted to find a way to help, like maybe it would lift my spirits, but it couldn't, not when I was trying to stop Dan from ripping his IV out,

  "Dan, stop, you need to stop this!" I said grabbing his wrists, but he fought and fought against me, "Dan, I'll help you, please just calm down." I said trying to remain hopeful, he slowly lowered his arms and looked up into my eyes,

"Why do you know me?" He asked, tears falling down, "Where am I?"He asked, his eyes huge with confusion and curiosity,

  "I'm Phil Lester, your best friend and flatmate, you were just in a terrible accident and can't remember much." I said, "What's the last thing you remember?" I asked and watched him close his eyes,

  "When I went to a football game with my Dad." He said and opened his eyes,

  "Dan that happened when you were fifteen, you're twenty three now." I said, looking really shocked,  _could he really lose that much?_

  "T-that can't be! I want to remember, Phil, I want to remember you!" Dan said grabbing my hand,

  "And you will, I promise I will help you through this." I said rubbing his hand with my thumb, comforting him, "We'll figure this all when you wake up, alright? You need rest, it's been a long day, I have to step out for a few minutes, but I will be back, will you be ok?" I asked looking into his wet and tired eyes,

  "Y-yeah, I will." He said with a small nod and laid his head back down, closing his eyes. I quietly got up and with one last look over my shoulder, I stepped outside closing the door behind me, as soon as I was alone I broke down, sliding down the wall, my hand over my mouth trying not to scream out,

  "Dammit!" I yelled quietly, "Why did this have to happen to him, to us?" I said sobbing into my hands, "Dan is too fragile as it is, he can't handle this!" I slowly wiped my eyes and stood up, took a deep breath and walked down the hall.

_I'll be back Dan..._

 

* * *

 

   I stared longley out the window at the snow still falling, I was sitting alone in the cafeteria drinking some hot chocolate trying to get my thoughts together,  _Dan will get through this, I know he will. No matter how long it takes I will help him, I love Dan and I can wait forever if I have to to be with him,_ I quietly slipped the little black box out of my pocket and looked down at the gold ring shining under the lights,

  _I can wait..._

  I finished my drink and made my way back to Dan's room, he was just starting to wake up as I walked in,

  "Dan? How do you feel?" I asked taking a seat next to him,

  "It's hurts." He said through gritted teeth, "I'm also confused and scared."

  "Don't worry, soon the pain will be gone and this will all be sorted out." I said with a small smile,

  "Just don't leave, ok? I don't know why but somehow I feel safer with you around." He said, smiling back, 

  "And I will be around, always. I don't ever want to see you get hurt again. In a couple of weeks, you'll be able to come home with me." I said taking his hand, rubbing small comforting circles on the back of his hand, "Get some more rest, I'll be here when you wake up." I said and watched as he closed his eyes.

  _I'll always be here..._

* * *

  
_A couple of weeks later..._

It was Christmas Day and Dan was coming home, he was sitting on his bed waiting for the discharge papers and I was quietly waiting with him, 

  "Phil, I'm a little scared, not remembering anything. I know I'm safe with you, somehow you make me feel happy. I really like this feeling and I hope I can remember everything I've lost with you." Dan said looking up at me with a small smile, 

  "Just believe me that you have a wonderful life and lot's of people that love you, I will help you through this and I will not give up." I said smiling back. Suddenly the door opened and a smiling nurse walked in, 

  "Here you are Dan, you're all set to go home, please have a safe Christmas, both of you." She said and handed Dan the papers before heading out, 

  "Are you ready to go home, Dan?" I asked standing up, 

  "Yes, I am." He said and stood up, I took his hand and smiled, 

  "Let's finally go home." I said and squeezed his hand.

* * *

 

  I quietly walked in, looking around,  __everything looked_   familiar   _and yet nothing did._ Small flashes of hazy smiling faces crossed my mind as I looked around,  _

"Dan, you alright?" Phil asked coming up behind me, 

  "Yeah, just....something came to me. Flashes of faces that I can't remember." I said, my eyes closed, 

  "That's good! Your memories are slowly returning!" Phil said with a huge smile, "Come on, I'll make us something to eat, just wait in the lounge." He said and took my hand leading us down the hall, as I looked around more, flashes of faces and names crossed my mind becoming clearer and clearer, I now stood in the middle of the lounge my head seeming to spin with all the memories suddenly flooding back, then everything suddenly stopped like the movie had just ended and I was watching the credits, 

  "I remember...." I quietly said under my breath, tears streaming down my face, 

  "Dan, everything is ready!" Phil said cheerfully coming into the lounge, a plate of Christmas cookies in his hand, he stopped suddenly when he saw my face, "Dan, what is it?!" He asked worry crossing his face, 

  "Phil. My Phil, I remember, I remember you." I said with a huge smile, the plate he was holding suddenly came crashing to the ground, glass and cookies flying everywhere, 

  "Oh, Dan, I never mentioned we were together, not once. But you remembered!" Phil said and rushed over, cupping my face with his hands, his forehead touching mine, "I'm so glad you're back, my love." He said and leaned over kissing me, I closed my eyes and deepened the kiss,

  "Merry Christmas, my little lion." I said and wiped the tears from my face,

  "I have a surprise for you, but we have to go into town. Are you ok with that?" Phil asked brushing my bangs away from my face,  

  "Yes, I know you'll keep me safe and I promise I'll be more careful." He said with a small laugh,

 

* * *

 

  "Let's go then, I don't want to wait for this." I said, quietly locking up and walking down the pavement, 

  "Where are we going, Phil?" He asked looking around, the town was decorated with the finest and brightest lights, wreaths hung on each lamp post, garland hanging in the middle of each post,

  "You'll see, we're almost there." I said with a laugh and lead him around the corner where the giant christmas tree stood in the center of town, 

   "Wow, it really is amazing isn't it?" He asked, looking up in amazement, 

   _Perfect...._ I quietly took the little box out of my pocket and smiled, "Dan?" I asked hiding the box behind my back, he quickly turned around with a bright smile covering his face, "You have given me a lifetime of happiness, I want to give you that now, Dan Howell," I asked and knelt down, "Will you marry me?" He put his hand over his mouth and nodded, "Yes, Phil, I'll marry you." He said and knelt down, kissing me. 

  "Oh thank god." I said and stood up kissing him back, "Merry Christmas, my love." I said and placed the ring on his finger, before turning back to look at the tree, 

  "Everything is perfect, Phil." Dan said squeezing my hand, 

   _Yes it is and it always will be...._

  

 

 

 

  


 


End file.
